Today officially marks the 8th year of marriage for me and Craig. We celebrated this morning by Craig staying home working on the computer and watching the girls while I ran to the store, Blockbuster, and the post office (20 minute wait there just to get stamps…).
Last week when we took notice of the fact that our anniversary was approaching, I said, “Hey – how about for our anniversary this year, you go to Glen Eyrie and play the part of the Bard in the Christmas Revels. I’ll stay home with the girls and host a Christmas party for my book club. Sound good?” Anniversaries don’t respect time and seasons of life very well. I guess that’s our fault for getting married in December.
Now to be perfectly fair, yesterday Craig asked if I’d like to go out for breakfast this morning. He offered to try to find a babysitter and really do something in commemoration of the day and I said, “That’s okay, we don’t need to do anything.”
He then said, “Well, do you want to do anything at all tomorrow?” My reply? “How about you bring home some nuggets after the Revels tomorrow night and we can have a late dinner and watch a movie.”
Yep, I am definitely a cheap date.
My attitude towards this is so different from our first anniversary. We were in Illinois at the time while Craig and the rest of the Red Letter Edition band worked on an album. He asked if I wanted to spend an evening aboard a dinner cruise ship on Lake Michigan. Normally, this would sound pretty fabulous, but we had just spent the previous two weeks with his album producer and co. (we were living with them too) and these same people sang for the cruise ship. The way we were going to be able to go would be to go with them. I wasn’t exactly that excited about spending our anniversary with this particular group of folks, especially after just having spent so much time with them. Instead, I wanted to go to a hotel for the weekend and just be alone. So we did.
I don’t think we’ve really “celebrated”, so to speak, in a formal way ever. The first couple of years we were married this was a surprise to me, as was the fact that Craig didn’t enjoy celebrating holidays or events of any kind. Wait, “didn’t enjoy” is putting it mildly.
So now, 8 years later, I have learned not to expect anything and actually be okay with that. About a year ago I started joking that Craig “cured” me of my love language. I don’t know about that. Perhaps he just showed me what it really is.
Anyway, also in defense of Craig’s views on celebrating, within a 30 day span of the year we have Thanksgiving, my birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, and Maddie’s birthday. That’s a whole lot of potential expectation floating around. My present to Craig every year is to let go of that expectation. And mean it.
I did buy a present for Craig though. I probably would have bought it anyway and made up an excuse to give it to him. I actually bought it for Christmas, but it came yesterday and I couldn’t help myself. I told him I had a present for him and he hates that (not the present, necessarily, but the fact that I tell him I have one). He can’t stand knowing there’s a surprise somewhere for him. So I said, “Well, I guess I could give it to you for our anniversary.” That sounded pretty good to him, so I gave it to him last night. He loved it.
So thanks, Crazy. For 8 years of, no, not “bliss”, but of real life and real love. Thanks for 8 years of living out the Velveteen Rabbit.