Mini Breakdown

I’m sure I’ve said this before, but I don’t typically show stress outwardly that much. When I do it is always by crying and (darn it) always in public.

So I found out over the weekend that my 2 books and 3 papers for the Relationships in God’s Image class were due on April 15. Then last night I was reminded about a paper I have due in my Teaching and Learning class next Tuesday. I also realized my group teaching assignment, the one that’s worth 30% of my grade, is 3 weeks from last night and my partner and I hadn’t gotten together one single time yet. I looked over at my friend, Christine, and said, “I have no business being here.”

And then I started crying. Not sobbing, but not the few tears which you can hide and go on with life like nothing ever happened. Real crying. I couldn’t stop it. Biting my tongue didn’t help either. And I never seem to have a tissue around when this happens either.

I also have a self-imposed goal to get four little dresses done by Sunday and I have a couple of verse pack orders to attend to (one is a big one, due April 15 as well). Of course the dresses would be the first thing to go, except that I’ve been using sewing as a mental break from the crazy amounts of reading I’m finding myself doing right now, so while they might not get done by Sunday, they will get done in April, I’m sure.

My first breath of air in my sea of over-committed nonsense came when I emailed Scotty Smith and begged politely asked for an extension so that my family could eat normal meals at normal mealtimes for the rest of the month and so my husband wouldn’t have to fall asleep alone every night for the rest of the semester. He graciously agreed.


Then the next breath came when Tara came over today and we began talking about the project. We’re far from being there, but having that first meeting was very important to my well-being.
I’ve got most of my reading done for the project (never mind the Relationships class right now…) and the paper I have due on Tuesday will be based off the lecture I gave in February, so that should really just be a matter of rearranging and formatting.

And one dress is done, one just needs to be hemmed, and two more have collars and sleeves, so I just need to put the facing in and sew the skirts on.

And make two chocolate pies and one jello salad for the weekend.

I do this to myself. I realize it. I can’t help it.