What That End-of-the-Semester Book is Really Used For

Chloe had gynmastics tonight and I usually work out while she’s in class. Tonight I decided to read instead because I’m really not even close to being done with the book that has to be done and journaled and neatly typed up and turned in by Tuesday.

I tried to read. Really I did. But there was something so soothing about watching all those kids jump around, swinging on bars, attempting head stands, yelling, laughing, etc. And that mat I was sitting on that was propped up against that really comfy concrete wall? Irresistible.

Tonight just very well could have been the only evening of the semester in which I could have done this, but I did it. I used What the Best College Teachers Do as a pillow. And fell asleep on that really not very comfy mat against that cold, hard wall, in an insanely chaotic and noisy room.

For thirty blissful minutes.

Oh, That’s Why

In a recent email to a friend (you know who you are) requesting “parenting advice” (from me of all people…) I found myself writing, “I’m a fallen parent and I’m raising children who are also sinners.” I’ve always known that, but it never occurred to me how true that statement was until it found its way in print in that email.

We’ve been having some pretty big self-control issues with an unnamed child. And I’ve found myself yelling a lot in response to some of these actions. I hate myself for it. She hates herself for it. Together we’re a mess. I spent about 30 minutes tonight surfing the web looking for a magical cure to teach self control to my child.

And then I remembered – I also have self control issues. Maybe if I did a better job with mine, she’d do a better job with hers?

After our episode tonight in which I apologized (again) for my response and she apologized (again) for her behavior, she came in my room, shut the door, and sat down on the bed with me.
She looked at me and sighed. She said, “Life.” I looked at her and said, “I know, sweetie.” She sighed again and said, “Sin.” I nodded back and said, “Yes. I know.”

We see it in ourselves. We see it in each other. And we hate it. I *am* a fallen parent. And she *is* a fallen kiddo. And sometimes life is just *that* hard.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercy never comes to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.

May our mercies be renewed in the morning as well. And may we learn self control. And may we accept the forgiveness that God gives and not punish ourselves for our own sin.