Please be advised that when dining out and ordering a beverage, Long Island Iced Tea is not an iced tea drink at all. There is, in fact, absolutely no tea in this drink. And, if the restaurant you are dining at makes a serious mistake with your order and brings you a one-person pitcher of said drink instead of the normal glass, that it is most definitely not in your best interest to attempt to drink the entire thing. Particularly if you have the tolerance of a two-year-old.

Making this mistake could lead to a pretty significant three-second delay in your mental functioning, requiring you to hold on very tightly to your date on your way out of the restaurant in order to avoid running smack dab into the Lucky Penny vending machine in the middle of Union Station. (It will also require you to have to look up the spelling to the word penny when writing about it.)

I just wanted to make sure the rest of you knew this very important information. You know, just in case.