I took Katie to her speech evaluation today. I had been told earlier that the school would take her for their summer program based on my recommendation alone and that the evaluation was cursory.

What we found out today is that they don’t think she needs therapy at this time. The sounds she struggles with aren’t supposed to cause concern unless they fail to emerge later (one at 6, one at 8). I had a feeling this was going to be the case. When you ask her pointed questions, “What is this? Point to that card and name _______” she can do it. She can articulate very well in that context. It is conversationally that I have trouble understanding her and conversationally speaking, her trouble didn’t translate in the evaluator’s office today.

I should be glad for this, right? Her speech is within normal parameters. We don’t have to shell out $400 this summer for therapy like we thought we were going to have to do. So why was I discouraged by the news? Because I want her to have an edge, I guess. Because I want her to have those sounds down now, not at 6 or 8. Because I’m twisted.

It’s like taking your kid to the doctor because *you know* she has a problem, but the second you walk in the door the fever drops, her cheeks are no longer red, and she’s the perfect model of health. You feel dumb for taking her in, yet there was a reason you did so. Making the call is the cure in most cases, it seems.

That happened today, though I’m not convinced. I’m glad for the evaluation, though, because I know for sure what the trouble spots are now. There were some, they just weren’t worried about them at her current age. Now that I know, I will have a better gauge for helping her myself, which, after all, is what I do for my kids as their primary teacher anyway. I feel like I have something to go on now and you better believe I will be working with her on those sounds before she gets to be 8.

Still, I can’t help wishing her scores had been just a tad bit lower so she could have entered the program. Maybe I just wanted to feel justified for taking her in in the first place…