Mrs. Rachel Lynde on a ministry family, as told by Anne (of Green Gables):
“I’m very glad they’ve called Mr. Allan. I liked him because his sermon was interesting and he prayed as if he meant it and not just as if he did it because he was in the habit of it. Mrs. Lynde says he isn’t perfect, but she says she supposes we couldn’t expect a perfect minister for seven hundred and fifty dollars a year, and anyhow his theology is sound because she questioned him thoroughly on all the points of doctrine. And she knows his wife’s people and they are most respectable and the women are all good housekeepers. Mrs. Lynde says that sound doctrine in the man and good housekeeping in the woman make an ideal combination for a minister’s family.”
Well, one out of two isn’t so bad I guess.
Half-Pint House 
It’s true that people feel more comfortable and at home in a house that’s not “sterile.” This is hard for me, as I imagine my house to somehow be a kind of spiritual barometer. I am rather OCD about keeping it tidy, and I truly wish I could chill out about it.
Okay, but, you wanna know what question I got asked by just about everyone when we came to Heritage?
“Do you play the piano? No? I thought all preachers’ wives played the piano.”
So, no matter what, we’re all pretty much going to feel utterly inadequate in one way or another.
(ps–just so people don’t think I’m a total liar…I do play the piano a little but not in any sort of I would ever want other humans to have to listen to me play kind of way)
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My sweet husband tries to remind me when I am running around trying to keep our tiny apartment on campus clean that broken people don’t want to come to a perfectly kept house for some lovin’…..so why do I keep beating myself up? I don’t even have four kids yet….maybe I could learn a thing or two from you, Megan!
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But notice that there’s no mention of the children’s ages or existence. And that the “housekeeping” probably consisted over each person owning four or five outfits (at most), and even they didn’t get washed with regularity. Plus the fact that the house would be no larger than 800 square feet and there were no indoor bathrooms to scrub. I could justify our less-than-stellar housekeeping all day, but I’m up at midnight trying to dig my way out of my mess of a study.
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Perhaps…the question is, Which one?
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Amen, and Amen. I’m guessing when people describe me as a ministry wife, I’ll probably have the same one out of two designation.
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Ouch, Nick.
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It’s true that people feel more comfortable and at home in a house that’s not “sterile.” This is hard for me, as I imagine my house to somehow be a kind of spiritual barometer. I am rather OCD about keeping it tidy, and I truly wish I could chill out about it.
Okay, but, you wanna know what question I got asked by just about everyone when we came to Heritage?
“Do you play the piano? No? I thought all preachers’ wives played the piano.”
So, no matter what, we’re all pretty much going to feel utterly inadequate in one way or another.
(ps–just so people don’t think I’m a total liar…I do play the piano a little but not in any sort of I would ever want other humans to have to listen to me play kind of way)
LikeLike
My sweet husband tries to remind me when I am running around trying to keep our tiny apartment on campus clean that broken people don’t want to come to a perfectly kept house for some lovin’…..so why do I keep beating myself up? I don’t even have four kids yet….maybe I could learn a thing or two from you, Megan!
LikeLike
But notice that there’s no mention of the children’s ages or existence. And that the “housekeeping” probably consisted over each person owning four or five outfits (at most), and even they didn’t get washed with regularity. Plus the fact that the house would be no larger than 800 square feet and there were no indoor bathrooms to scrub. I could justify our less-than-stellar housekeeping all day, but I’m up at midnight trying to dig my way out of my mess of a study.
LikeLike
Perhaps…the question is, Which one?
LikeLike
Amen, and Amen. I’m guessing when people describe me as a ministry wife, I’ll probably have the same one out of two designation.
LikeLike
Ouch, Nick.
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well, speaking as a pastor’s wife who can and has played the piano (but is out of practice right now). i can say that playing the piano is NOT a helpful qualification for being a good pastor’s wife. there have never been any times when i have have thought how really great it was that i could play the piano b/c it met a really huge need.
there have been many times when i wished i had taken a few more counseling courses in college or something on that order when a person was unloading a personal problem on me and i had no clue how to respond. (i usually do now!) those were the times when i felt the need for gifts/skills that weren’t so obvious as piano playing. i find a larger handicap being that i’m neither a teacher nor a good organizer. i can struggle thro’ either in a pinch, but i am not really very good at either.
i’ve come to believe more and more that you have the gifts/skills your husband and family need you to have. you will be needed for something in the church too for sure, but it may not be an overly public ministry. depending on your gifts, the year/stage of life, i have often done things that weren’t terribly obvious to a lot of people. that doesn’t mean it isn’t an important ministry to serve in or develop. think of things like developing a prayer ministry of people who network to pray for the ministries of the church or visit shut-ins to free up the pastor for some of his other duties or a telephone ministry of encouragement to shut-ins from shut-ins…you get my drift. they will strengthen the ministry of the church but won’t be very obvious to the average visitor to the church.
of course, that may not solve the age old problem of the housework:( it always sits there and waits for us doesn’t it? it will get done soon enough and it will get dirty in no time. we just have to decide how much time we are going to spend keeping it up…and at what level of spotlessness. we certainly want order but we have to decide who we’re trying to please–people or God. when I am trying to please people, i spend way more time on the house than i really need to. it may not affect you the same way.
depending on the size of the church, we live in a fishbowl. i think that often the smaller churches watch us more carefully than the larger ones do. we have to learn to be graciously kind and inclusive to everyone. then we make time for our special friends away from our public times. no one can say our lives are dull:) we are certainly privileged to watch people grow close-up. m
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well, speaking as a pastor’s wife who can and has played the piano (but is out of practice right now). i can say that playing the piano is NOT a helpful qualification for being a good pastor’s wife. there have never been any times when i have have thought how really great it was that i could play the piano b/c it met a really huge need.
there have been many times when i wished i had taken a few more counseling courses in college or something on that order when a person was unloading a personal problem on me and i had no clue how to respond. (i usually do now!) those were the times when i felt the need for gifts/skills that weren’t so obvious as piano playing. i find a larger handicap being that i’m neither a teacher nor a good organizer. i can struggle thro’ either in a pinch, but i am not really very good at either.
i’ve come to believe more and more that you have the gifts/skills your husband and family need you to have. you will be needed for something in the church too for sure, but it may not be an overly public ministry. depending on your gifts, the year/stage of life, i have often done things that weren’t terribly obvious to a lot of people. that doesn’t mean it isn’t an important ministry to serve in or develop. think of things like developing a prayer ministry of people who network to pray for the ministries of the church or visit shut-ins to free up the pastor for some of his other duties or a telephone ministry of encouragement to shut-ins from shut-ins…you get my drift. they will strengthen the ministry of the church but won’t be very obvious to the average visitor to the church.
of course, that may not solve the age old problem of the housework:( it always sits there and waits for us doesn’t it? it will get done soon enough and it will get dirty in no time. we just have to decide how much time we are going to spend keeping it up…and at what level of spotlessness. we certainly want order but we have to decide who we’re trying to please–people or God. when I am trying to please people, i spend way more time on the house than i really need to. it may not affect you the same way.
depending on the size of the church, we live in a fishbowl. i think that often the smaller churches watch us more carefully than the larger ones do. we have to learn to be graciously kind and inclusive to everyone. then we make time for our special friends away from our public times. no one can say our lives are dull:) we are certainly privileged to watch people grow close-up. m
LikeLike