I’m not the type to see demons around every corner. In fact, I don’t see them at all; they are totally off my radar screen. So keep in mind that I’m rather conservative in this department as you read the rest of this post.
This has been a hard fall for me. As I recap it in my mind, I can probably pinpoint things further back than the fall. I experienced probably my first real bout of depression when we got the $7,000 hospital bill from Illinois for Millie from last November (which still hasn’t been resolved, btw). There was a definite moment of joy when I was offered the job I’m currently doing for GWN with the possibility of further writing with/for them in the future. But it really seems that as soon as I signed on for this, we (I?) began to take a pretty significant spiritual hit.
I don’t think I’m necessarily that big of a threat to all things evil, so the fact that I’m feeling the arrows flying at me is surprising me. Maybe it shouldn’t.
We’ve had some pretty major relational struggles with one of our kids this fall. It is killing me to watch her walk through this and know that I really can’t do anything about it. In fact, my responses to her sin is almost always to sin right back at her. And that’s killing me, too.
Resolved that I can’t resolve to do anything about this, I began really praying this week. Not just sort-of praying as is my normal custom, but really praying. And reading the Bible, not just with my kids for the Bible portion of our school day, but reading it again because I need to read it again. On day two of this, I was rewarded by probably the worst day with this particular child I have ever had.
When Craig came home I did my little whine routine, where I said something stupid like, “That’s what I get for reading the Bible again,” and, “if this is how caring gets rewarded I think I prefer apathy.” Good, godly truth flowing out of me right there.
He looked at me and said, “I think your week has been pulled up in Satan’s Rolodex.”
Craig’s not a demon-hunter either, so when he said that, we both just laughed. But the more I’m thinking about it the more I’m thinking he’s right: somehow my number has come up in the queue, and I’m getting all kinds of crank calls.
I think it’s time to change my number and report the perpetrator.
Update to add:
I’ve had “867-5309” playing over and over in my head ever since posting this.
Half-Pint House 
This is breaking my heart. We will be prayerfully
praying for you, and the halfpint with the disposition problem. We love you very much.
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Nope, you’re not alone.
On a side note, your Rolodex link reminded me of the time our pastor (in an intergenerational Sunday school class) made a comment about our need to go through our mental Rolodex of Scripture. My kids looked at me strangely, and I had to lean over and tell them it’s like their Outlook contacts on the computer. And I felt old.
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“We’ve had some pretty major relational struggles with one of our kids this fall.”
we know how this feels and how difficult it can make life, i see too how much harder it is for the mom, i don’t have advice on the matter, but encouragement to say you’re not alone
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i clicked comment because i thought this was such a meaningful post to comment on and yet i find i have nothing profound to say. i’m sorry it’s been such a struggle for you and i appreciate your honesty here sharing it with us, i think it will be a reminder to me. sometimes i think i’m the only one who’s being picked on.
i hope things get better now that you’ve recognized the real enemy.
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This is breaking my heart. We will be prayerfully
praying for you, and the halfpint with the disposition problem. We love you very much.
LikeLike
Nope, you’re not alone.
On a side note, your Rolodex link reminded me of the time our pastor (in an intergenerational Sunday school class) made a comment about our need to go through our mental Rolodex of Scripture. My kids looked at me strangely, and I had to lean over and tell them it’s like their Outlook contacts on the computer. And I felt old.
LikeLike
“We’ve had some pretty major relational struggles with one of our kids this fall.”
we know how this feels and how difficult it can make life, i see too how much harder it is for the mom, i don’t have advice on the matter, but encouragement to say you’re not alone
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i clicked comment because i thought this was such a meaningful post to comment on and yet i find i have nothing profound to say. i’m sorry it’s been such a struggle for you and i appreciate your honesty here sharing it with us, i think it will be a reminder to me. sometimes i think i’m the only one who’s being picked on.
i hope things get better now that you’ve recognized the real enemy.
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I am right there with ya sister. I just figured out last week why this semester has been so discouraging…..Ummmm, the big guy down stairs! Bobby and I have had a hard time being motivated in ministry and have been constatly frustrated with schedules and students this fall. Last week, I commited to pray a lot and lay it all before him. The beginning of this week I meet with some seniors and they began to decribe the atmosphere of the students at TCA. Satan is having a hay day especially with the students that we know. I am a little slow but I finally got it.
Good plan….frustrate the leaders and help them become disengaged and then hit the students below the belt.
I feel it big time and know in my heart and mind is that consistant prayer is the only answer. Yet another battle with my mind, heart and time!
I will never get it and I have soooooo far to go!
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If it is any help to know, my older sister was a bad tempered child, who fought with me and picked on me cruelly for years. She became a wonderful adult and we had a great relationship once we were both grown. I don’t know your specific situation, but children are children, and growing up is not a straight line. Sweet children can become nasty, horrible adolescents, and the opposite can also occur.
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I am right there with ya sister. I just figured out last week why this semester has been so discouraging…..Ummmm, the big guy down stairs! Bobby and I have had a hard time being motivated in ministry and have been constatly frustrated with schedules and students this fall. Last week, I commited to pray a lot and lay it all before him. The beginning of this week I meet with some seniors and they began to decribe the atmosphere of the students at TCA. Satan is having a hay day especially with the students that we know. I am a little slow but I finally got it.
Good plan….frustrate the leaders and help them become disengaged and then hit the students below the belt.
I feel it big time and know in my heart and mind is that consistant prayer is the only answer. Yet another battle with my mind, heart and time!
I will never get it and I have soooooo far to go!
LikeLike
If it is any help to know, my older sister was a bad tempered child, who fought with me and picked on me cruelly for years. She became a wonderful adult and we had a great relationship once we were both grown. I don’t know your specific situation, but children are children, and growing up is not a straight line. Sweet children can become nasty, horrible adolescents, and the opposite can also occur.
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“In fact, my responses to her sin is almost always to sin right back at her. And that’s killing me, too.”
I totally understand. And struggling with that same thing.
And, Megan, I really appreciate how careful you were in this post to write respectfully of your daughters. I think that. . . in the long run. . . that will be really a good thing, you know?
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“In fact, my responses to her sin is almost always to sin right back at her. And that’s killing me, too.”
I totally understand. And struggling with that same thing.
And, Megan, I really appreciate how careful you were in this post to write respectfully of your daughters. I think that. . . in the long run. . . that will be really a good thing, you know?
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hahahahhaahhahahahaha!!! in satan’s rolodex! hilarious!
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