I Found the Middle

When we decided to make an offer on the house last week, I completely fixated on all the negatives: it needs a complete kitchen and bathroom overhaul; it needs new windows; it needs A/C or some kind of cooling system installed; it needs a new garage door and a major landscaping plucking. Big things there to fixate on.

After placing the offer and imagining us living there, I swung the complete other direction and drooled over all the positives: there’s a third floor attic that can be turned into a fabulous room one day; there’s a full unfinished basement with level floors and high ceilings which could also be turned into an amazing guest space one day; the house has a laundry chute from the second floor to the basement (I have *always* wanted a house with a laundry chute); there is an amazing study with a walk-out porch on the second floor too, so Craig could finally have a real office to write in; the house is across the street from good friends (two sets of them!) and is within walking distance from other good friends.

I think the friends thing is what I will be most disappointed about if, when it’s all said and done, we end up not getting to live there. Oh, and the laundry chute – I’m going to be seriously disappointed by not getting to have the laundry chute.

When the bank turned this into a game of real estate roulette, I lost my nervous edge. I’m not worried anymore. It really might not happen, but I’m honestly not devastated by that. So, as I said before, the list price was X. We offered 40 below X and they came back with 22 above X. Then we offered 30 below X and they offered 12 above X. We said, “No thanks,” but told them our offer was still on the table should they change their minds.

And now we wait. This is what usually makes me crazy in a short-tempered, frazzled, get-lost-while-driving sort of way. But I’ve had one of the most seemingly cliche verses* popping into my head for the past week. What you need to understand is that I don’t lean toward the cliche very often, nor do random verses I memorized decades ago come popping into my head at random times very often. But in this case, I’m very glad it keeps popping into my head. I need to hear it and, hearing it, I need to believe it. God does know the plans He has for us. He’s declared it. His plans will prosper us and not harm us. His plans will bring us a future and a hope. And His plans could very well include this house we’ve prayed for, or could mean staying exactly where we are. I’m okay with it either way. I wasn’t last week. So this is the growth of forced patience and while not something I seek, is something I’m glad for.

God knows we desire to do good things with the bigger space. He also knows we’re capable of doing good things in the space He’s already provided. The question I’ve had to answer is do I know that? I think now I finally do.

*By cliche, I only mean that it gets used over and over and over to the point that it seems to lose its meaning. I’m sure I’m the only one who has experienced this, so please don’t be offended that I called a Bible verse cliche. Of course it’s not. It’s the people who use it who tend to be. Sometimes. I’m done now.