From Mark 14:35-37, And going a little further, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour?”
Two primary things from this for me tonight. The first, that the cross was a painful thing both in reality and in anticipation. Duh, right? But I think I fall into the wrong thinking that for Jesus, this was just another super-human gig for him to accomplish during his work on earth. Turn water to wine? Check. Feed 5,000+ people with a 2nd grader’s lunch? Check. Die on the cross? Check. Easy things for the Savior? Maybe easier for him than for anyone else, but definitely still not easy.
And I find myself thinking a similar thought about so much less. I do not welcome adversity into my life and find myself wishing it away all the time, though in a much less noble way. I just beg God to remove the situations. I don’t pray, “Not my will, but thine be done.” In our housing situation right now we’ve got issues that are costing big bucks to fix. I’m weary from the worry of it all and just want it to go away. Not my will but thine. Okay, I can say that, but is it even okay for me to say that? Jesus said that about the cost of his life for all of ours. I’m saying it for a joking $6,000 worth of house repairs. The two can not even be compared. I pray that I would be more mindful of the cross on a daily basis. It is so easy for me to excuse my own sin. I am quick to point it out in my kids, but brush it aside in myself. And yet, these are the very things that had to be paid for. Paid for by death of a sinless man on a terrible cross. Not my will but thine.
No, I’m more like the sleepy guys here who couldn’t even keep their eyes open for one hour. Don’t you know that after their beloved friend was killed the next day they replayed the night before over and over and over in their minds for the rest of their lives? They were with him the night before. He asked them to pray. They fell asleep.
And what do I do? I ignore the Word of God for a game of Scrabulous. Oh, that You would become so real to me I would be haunted by my own inconsistencies and bad decisions with my time. I want to be able to keep watch and pray. Not just when I need something from you, but all the time. I still pray that you would make it so. Amen.