Attic Camping: A Tutorial

When you have made reservations to camp at one of your local state parks and the weather forecast comes in saying 70% chance of rain one day and 80% chance of rain the next, you panic.

Then you get creative. You’ve promised your kids that you are going to camp this weekend. You must not let the young ones down.

First you need to set up a tent in the attic. Make sure your kids bring up everything they own to put in said tent:

Indoor Camping

Get the obligatory happy camper shot before things begin to fall apart:


Then you proceed to make hoboes* the way you would for cooking over an open fire. Turn on your oven to 375 and pop those packets in there for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile gather all other things needed to consume said hoboes in the attic: plates, forks, cups with ice, drinks. When the hoboes are done, stack them precariously on top of that whole pile of paper products. Make sure one of the packets opens just enough to spill the meat juice down the front of your sweatshirt. Proceed up two flights of stairs.


Eat the hoboes. Wait for the children to not really eat theirs. Finish off theirs. Then break out the s’more supplies.

S'more Supplies for Indoor Camping

At this point you should need no explanation. Any self-respecting camper knows what to do next. Even non-self-respecting campers know what to do here:

Toasting Marshmallows

You should also already know what to do here:

Eat the S'more!

When indoor camping, it is just as important, if not more so, to be on the lookout for signs of wildlife. If you aren’t careful, these critters will eat all your popcorn when you aren’t looking. They will then throw up on the trail (ie: your stairs).

Camping Wildlife

The next morning, look out your window and thank your lucky stars you made the decision to stay home because of the rain. Because it would be so miserable to be out there on a day like this:

"Rainy" Day

And that’s all there is to it! For more tips on how to have the best vacation ever, go Google somebody else. We obviously don’t know.

PS: The weather forecast for today is now only 40% instead of the predicted 80%. I don’t know – it looks pretty sunny to me. Looks nice enough to go camping.

(Though all this may be true, our kids really are having a great time in the attic and Craig is making good progress on his paper. I have yet to do anything productive today. I will do that soon.)