Dear Woody,

You’ve been a good family friend for many years and we’ve appreciated you very much. I know there was that one time when it didn’t really seem like we did and you got taken to Goodwill, but believe me: Katie seriously missed you. She missed you so much that you made another appearance into our home when she turned 5. You held a prominent place on her shelf right next to the red Cardinals Build-a-Bear, Molly the American Girl, and a few miscellaneous WebKinz. You were loved.

Then something happened; I think it could be age related, but I don’t know. You know we would never put you out simply for growing old, but there’s a reason they put that pull string in your back. It’s so you only talk when someone initiates conversation with you. When you choose to yell out, “THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!” at 6 in the morning, I’m not exactly sure with whom you are talking. Your shenanigans this morning woke up both Katie and Millie, and can I just tell you that those two need a little extra sleep? And, while I know you’re just trying to be sweet and all, telling us we’re your favorite deputy at 6:15 a.m. just doesn’t serve anybody.

Woody, the time has come for us to part ways. May your road stretch ever before you, may your memories be sweet, may your toy story be one in which you find your way in this world…in a place far away from our bedrooms early in the morning.

Peace to you, Woody. So long, Pardner.