Processing Moving with Kids

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So I started tell you about our big new change here. And then Craig filled in the major detail here. And then I came back and told you how he told me here.

Today I tell you how we told the girls here at WORLDMag.com.

For the record, this weekend was pivotal in her life, but we still have a rocky road ahead. We’re preparing for it.

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The last time we made a major state-to-state move our oldest child was just 6 and our youngest 18 months. When we told the girls we were moving back then, there was some sadness from the 6-year-old, but it was short-lived and easily compensated. The others didn’t really care so long as we packed their special blankets and toys.

Fast-forward six years: My husband, Craig, has just accepted a new position as head of school at Veritas Classical Academy in Oklahoma City. While our girls had known for several weeks that the move was a strong possibility, the official offer came one week ago today.

As we were eating dinner that night, Craig asked each girl for her honest thoughts about the opportunity, as we would give serious weight to their thoughts on the matter. One by one the girls started telling us about all the things they love about life in St. Louis and the people they would miss. One by one they all said that while they were sad to move and leave their friends, they were a little excited about the change and the possibility of having their own rooms.

All of them were excited, that is, except one: Our second-born definitely was not OK with the change, and she said so in so many words.

After dinner, Craig and I talked about his last-minute plan to fly to Oklahoma City one more time to meet with the board. We had one frequent-flier plane ticket for him to use, but I looked at him and said he should think about taking Chloe with him. We both realized that some daddy/daughter time was what she needed, but because we didn’t have a second free ticket lying around, this meant driving the 16-hour round-trip so she could go with him.

The next day, after teaching all day and coaching baseball practice that afternoon, Craig came home, ate dinner, packed up, and headed off to Oklahoma City in the pouring rain with our 10-year-old daughter who desperately needed a dose of stability and security.

From the time they left home until the time they returned, 44 hours passed. And somewhere in that span of 44 hours of open road, one-to-one discussions, and burgers and shakes at Kaiser’s in downtown OKC, a switch flipped in her mind and in her heart. On the way home she told her father, “You know, I’m still sad about leaving St. Louis, but I’m more open to the idea of moving now.”

That was exactly the point. I know she will continue to struggle through the process of our transition, maybe more acutely than any of the rest of us. But I hope she knows in her core that we understand and will walk her through it every step of the way.

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2 thoughts on “Processing Moving with Kids

  1. Sarah says:

    Blessed by how you and your husband took the time and energy with your daughter to help her come to acceptance. All that being said, I was raised in Edmond until the age of 8 and our family goes back multiple generations.
    It is a beautiful little community and although I live in Tulsa now, every time we go back, it feels like home.
    blessings on your move

    Like

  2. Megan says:

    Thanks, Sarah. I was raised in Owasso, so going to OKC, while new territory for me for sure, will be much closer to my roots than I’ve been in a very long time!

    Like

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