Pay Day!

Pay day! And we’re now fully stocked up again. I asked J5 what’s one thing he really likes to eat so I could make sure to add that to my menu plan and shopping list. He thought for a second and then his face lit up and he said, “Popsicles!” Popsicles: CHECK.

We were unable to work it out so his sister could join us and for that I’m sad. Fostering a 5yo is definitely a different ballgame than the 3yo we had and certainly different from the baby. He’s fully aware we are not his family, nor does he plan to settle in too deeply here. He calls me Miss Megan (his own choosing) and refers to the girls like this, “Miss Megan, when your girls get home…” He’s 90% completely sweet and 10%…we are really trying hard not to provoke the 10% in any way. Today was a good day from start to finish and for that I’m thankful. We’ll tackle tomorrow when it comes.

In other news, Baby M is still with us after all. He could be for another week or two now and I’m relieved and thankful, but fully know the day IS coming and I need to be prepared for it when it comes. I cried enough yesterday for the future, I think, but I’ll probably cry again when he actually leaves.

Sigh. So, that’s a wrap on January 2013. Oh, February, what do you have in store?


Bye-bye, Baby M

Numbers 6: 24-26: The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Baby M, we love you. With all our hearts we love you. And handing you over to your new long-term foster mama tomorrow is going to be so super hard. And not knowing how your sweet little life is going to turn out is going to be so super hard. So I pray. And we’ll put your tiny green footprint on our wall and we’ll remember.

With tears, your mama for two weeks



Baby Slings

I gave up on the Moby (until someone can physically put it on me and show me what to do), but a friend came by yesterday with this sling and it’s pretty perfect, not to mention easy to put on. Baby M loves it and I can get some work done while comforting him at the same time.

Where was the sling stage when MY babies were babies? Seems like all we had were the front packs and baby’s head just flops right out of those, so they weren’t much good when the babies were newbies. At any rate, I may have missed out on the baby wearing when my girls were little, but I’m making up for it now. #Love

Meet J5

Meet our newest button boy, J5. I remembered shortly before we went to get him that I had a small stash of brand new Build-A-Bear Workshop animals in their condo boxes and everything. We pulled one out and put his name on it and placed it on his bed so we could tell him we had a surprise for him when we got home.

I wish with all my heart I could say this was an easy pick-up. It wasn’t. It was heartbreaking. And it involves a sibling of his, whom we briefly saw as she was saying good-bye to him and she was devastated he was leaving the shelter and she was sobbing. And I cried. And my case worker cried. And my girls cried. And I begged to be able to bring her home with us too. We’re going to try again tomorrow. In the meantime, you can understand that he did not want to leave her there and come with us. It’s a long story and not one I feel fully able to tell, but suffice it to say it involved some hands and knees, a little bit of kicking, a high-speed chase across the shelter parking lot, and single scoops of ice cream from Braum’s. It ended with with one little boy, excited about his new puppy, thankful for new-to-him pajamas, and going to bed when we asked him to, no questions, no complaints.

We have no idea what tomorrow holds, or the coming week, but this is going to be a different scenario for sure. And I’m going to bed in tears tonight over the brokenness in our world and the crap that adults put kids through all over – all over our country, all over our state, all over our city. It’s right in our backyards. It’s wrong. It’s so very wrong. No 5yo should have to experience what this one is experiencing.

It’s not the way things are supposed to be.

And after we finally got him in our van and we were pulling out of the shelter parking lot, I broke down in silent sobs in the front seat over what we’d all just experienced. Maddie looked at me with concern. I quietly apologized for breaking down. She softly said, “Mom, I would be more concerned if you didn’t.”

Get You Some

Get you some of THIS. Seriously. This little guy is the most precious thing on the planet. Every sleepless moment is worth keeping him out of the shelter. I soooo wish I could show his face. He’s a bundle of love.

Good-bye, E3

I soooo wish I could show his cute little face here because the photo is pretty priceless. And the stinker who didn’t go to sleep well last night, also woke up WAY too early today, but it ended up working out because the girls got to say a proper good-bye. E3 was moved into a long-term placement today. And it’s just almost surprising how easily that squirt wormed his way right into our hearts. From here we simply pray that God is who He says He is and will work and move in the life of E3 in a way none of us can even imagine or will even ever know.

Good-bye, E3. We love you. We miss you.

The Hurt of Foster Care

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Who doesn’t want to read science while holding a 6-day-old? Babies just make everything better…that is, when they aren’t making everything worse. *grin*

Our 3yo foster boy is leaving tomorrow for his long-term placement. We knew this day was coming. We’d been told it would be this week. Even still, the phone call today knocked the wind out of us just a bit and there were many tears. I keep saying that if it didn’t hurt when they leave, then we didn’t do it right. Loving is hurting. Hurting is letting go.

I’ve heard multiple times in the past month from people who say they admire us for what we are doing and confess they could never do it because it would just hurt too much to let them go. I scratch my head a bit and wonder if they think it isn’t hurting us too? It does. It hurts us too.

So tomorrow morning we will pull out his foster-agency-issued duffel bag and make sure it has the things he came here in it and we’ll pack in a few extras from us. And we’ll pray for him. And we’ll hand him over to DHS who will take him to the next phase of his future. And we will hurt. And we will pray.

Welcome to Narnia

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3rd graders in front of the set for The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Millie was a “guide” and so dressed as a woodland animal. Katie’s class did a scene from The Magician’s Nephew and she was Jadis, the White Witch, but I didn’t get a very good photo of that one. Boo!

Kids did a great job and we’re glad it happened and glad it’s now over. *grin*

Rodent of Unusual Size

I like to call this one my “Rodent of Unusual Size,” but, in fact, she is a bunny. A cute bunny. A woodland creature from the land of Narnia bunny. Because the school Narnia festival is tomorrow and I finished her costume exactly seven minutes ago. I also signed up to man the 4th grade class for 30 minutes in the morning plus take pictures of the festival for the yearbook BEFORE Baby M joined our family. So now I’m going to be navigating this with a 3yo and a 5 day old. Wowza. Here we go.