This is A4 and he’s occupying himself during Katie and Millie’s afternoon choir concert (on March 9…)

A4 and R3 are equal parts crazy and cute.

I really enjoy having these little guys around.

We’ve had one night since January 3 in which we didn’t have an extra kid of some sort sharing our lives with us.

I’m exhausted.

I had a little breakdown two nights ago.

I sobbed on my 14yo’s shoulder.

It had nothing to do with the boys.

It had everything to do with the boys. And the girls before them. And the baby before them. And the boy during that. And the boy that began it all.

I just emailed my case worker and told her that the boys were welcome here as long as they needed to be, but that when the time comes for them to leave, I really need a couple of weeks off.

My friend Amy told me today I needed three weeks off.

She has experience. I believe her.

She called it compassion exhaustion and said the constant in and out and forming attachments and letting go can really take it out of us.

Boy, can it.

And I feel guilty for saying I need a little break.

But I do.

So I put in my request.

And now we continue to love on these little guys and we wait.