A juxtaposition from today: Preparing to say good-bye to Baby A while simultaneously preparing for a weekend visit from my parents. My mom has ALS and now requires a hospital bed for sleeping. Sweet friends arranged for us to borrow one for the weekend and even while the reality of this, a hospital bed in my living room, lie waiting for one effect of the fall (my mom’s illness); the diapers, formula, onesies, teddy bear, and hospital paperwork being tucked in a small bag awaiting pick up along with a small babe was evident of yet another (the need for foster care).

And as I type this I’m still wearing the same shirt I’ve had on all day and I still smell like the mother of a wee infant – eau de spit up – and my arms are empty. We pray for the future for this little one and wonder what will be and can only hope God hears and that He cares.