I’m not super good at participating in group discussions. I’ve always been the attendee who *maybe* has something to share, but usually waits………..to see if there is a reasonable pause before sharing it. ProTip: There is rarely a pause like this in Bible discussion groups, so I’m usually off the hook because I just assume what everyone else has to say should be heard and what I *maybe* might want to share probably shouldn’t. There’s my introvert group discussion therapy session for you. So, even though I had two opportunities this week to share this, I didn’t. So I thought I would now.

On Sunday one of our pastors, Jeff Hamling, preached on the vengeance of God (and, incidentally, I now know that the word vengeance has an “a” in it – this could come in handy the next time I want to throw some vengeance around) and, as usual, there were some things I was aware of, as well as that one thing that it seems was just revealed to me for the first time ever. That thing for me on Sunday was that if I’m to be perfectly frank, I know I’m supposed to leave vengeance in the hands of God, but, if I’m honest, and I mean HONEST, I don’t really trust God to do a very good job with that.

*gasp*

Confession, it’s good for the soul.

But, I think this is why I don’t really trust God to exact justice the way I think it should be meted out – I’ve talked myself into thinking I have a better plan and that better plan includes not only forgiveness and restoration, but first exposure and vindication! That’s right and fair, no?

But, no. It’s neither. And God does not need my help in developing the plan of restitution for wrongs done. He never has.

On Sunday, I think the light bulb moment came for me not in hearing that my place isn’t to condemn and pass out demerits (blast…my ISTJ loves doing just that) – I know those things. The moment of realization came when Jeff said that God IS a God of Justice. And he WILL act on our behalf. And he WILL restore all things. And…here it is: The way He enacts his justice will ultimately be satisfying for me.

Seriously? I can trust God to do this? To not just ask me to forgive and move on, but that He will take care of wrongs done in a way that I will say, “That is exactly what I was hoping for.”

Because maybe He will change my own heart in the process to move my desires to be more in line with His, hence ushering in the perfect plan of restitution that leaves me wanting nothing more.

Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”