So I didn’t want to go to church today.

City Presbyterian Church in Oklahoma CityEver have one of those days in which you just want to tape a roll of bubble wrap all around you so you neither feel anything nor break in transit? Yep. I had one of those days today. I’m back to the whole thing of thinking I don’t really show stress that often, but when I do it’s always with tears and always in public. That was pretty much me all day today. Just feeling a combination of exhausted, alone, misunderstood, and all around yucky. I did not want to go to church today. I made myself go, but only because Chloe was scheduled to play the prelude. And as much as I’d love to tell you this is one of those stories of pushing through and going anyway and being so glad you did, that really didn’t happen yesterday. I sat in the furthest back corner all by myself on purpose. I walked out when the “meet and greet” time happened. I cried through most of the service and have no idea what Doug preached on. I took communion, but I’m wondering now if maybe I shouldn’t have. I then left a note for my girls telling them I would be in the van and I bolted 5 minutes before dismissal because I didn’t want to have to talk to anybody.

And I don’t have any lovely way to wrap this up other than to say that some days are just like this. And I wonder if it’s possible to feel the foster care equivalent of postpartum depression and if that’s maybe where I’m going with this.

I have no idea. So I hope tomorrow will be better and I’ll try again next week.



The (literal) Calm After the (not so proverbial) Storm


I could lament the fact that it’s already June 1 and I’m going to blink and we’ll be back in school already. Summer, I implore you, let us enjoy you. Enjoyment would come a little easier if we’d stop getting tornadoes here. Yesterday’s version of tornadoes in Oklahoma was about as unnerving as any I’ve ever experienced and I’ll just say this: I was glad to wake up this morning to beautiful skies, cool summer morning, kids scattered all over the house, and only our own normal every day chaos.

Tonight I took the kids mini-golfing and then we got ice cream cones and headed to the playground at Lake Hefner at 8:30pm where this was happening right then. I could stare at that forever. It’s about the closest thing we get to a beach sunset here and I have to take it where I can. So here it is.

A Sign of Things To Come. Literally.

Color Me Rad #OKCIt’s been…*cough*…a while since Chloe and I did our last 5K together and we sort of had to start over on the Couch-to-5K training. In truth, we’re only up to week 7 on the app and this race is tomorrow, but this race is also an untimed one and really more for fun than anything, so we’re doing it. Chloe really wanted to do this one, so I said okay. But I’m planning to do a timed one again in June so I can seriously get back in gear. I just don’t keep up the running unless I have a goal I’m working toward. Because I’m all awesome and dedicated like that.

We’ll see how awesome and dedicated I feel this time tomorrow…

Hipster Bike in OKC

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Another “not taken on this day” confession. For some reason I didn’t take any photos of our time at the Spring Bling, but I’m hoping to snag a few that others took and post them as soon as I can. As it is, this is one of my first attempts at taking pictures on manual instead of auto. I’m thinking about banning myself from auto for a whole month and seeing if that forces me into REALLY learning everything about my camera…

Bernstein’s MASS in OKC


So many good shots from today. It was hard to whittle them down to just one, but in the end, I decided on this one of Maddie and Chloe just before the start of tonight’s Oklahoma City MASS production. I have some thoughts on the show, but I’ll have to save them for another post. I’m *that* tired right now. So glad they both got to be part of this. So glad that it’s now over and we can resume a regular schedule for a while.


Some Pretty Big News

Earlier today I mentioned somewhere online that I had some big news but no time to share it. Now I have some time. And I still have some news. Some big news. You ready for it?

We. Sold. Our. House.

Okay, so we didn’t exactly sell our house, I’m pretty sure it was God who sold our house because we never even listed it on the market and aren’t having to use a realtor. Has anyone taken a peek at the housing market lately? Known anyone who has had a house on the market for months or even years? Yep, that’s pretty much what I was gearing up for here once we decided to make the move to Oklahoma after browsing family homes we liked there. I never in a zillion years dreamed that it would happen this fast.

So, let’s recap:

  • November 2010 – I get this weird feeling that something major is going to change for us and that we’ll know something about it by February of 2011.
  • December 2010 – *crickets*
  • January 2011Craig begins fasting for the 40 days leading up to his 40th birthday to pray for and prepare for what God might have in store for the next 40 years should He so grant them.
  • February 4, 2011 – Craig gets an email asking him to consider applying for a new job.
  • February 17, 2011 – Craig and I fly to Oklahoma City for weekend of interviews (for him…weekend of HGTV for me.)
  • First week of March, 2011 – Official invitation to accept the new position is given.
  • Second week of March, 2011 – Official acceptance of said position is made.
  • Fourth week of March, 2011 – We go house hunting in Oklahoma City and fail miserably the first day, but discover Closet Heaven on the second.
  • End of March, 2011 – Beginning conversations with our neighbors about possibly buying our house to use as a rental turn into serious conversations.
  • Middle of April, 2011 (today) – We sign paperwork with said neighbors to sell our house.

Yowza, that’s crazy fast. All this time, as everything has continued to speed along the way it has I’ve felt somewhat like Gideon who had all these signs from God and yet…can I have another please? And more have been given.

We are in the process of beginning paperwork to purchase Closet Heaven and if things continue the way they have been, all the turnovers will happen the first week of June.

This house is pretty amazing and I’ve had a hard time not mentally moving into it already. Here are a few reasons why:

1) This awesome bonus room:

Picture 11
2) This sweet black and white tiled kitchen floor:

Picture 12
3) This honkin’ big back yard:

Picture 13
Oh, and have I mentioned all the closets???

If you’ve been with us for very long on our journey, you might remember that we have yet to live in one housing structure for longer than three years. Ever. I’m really really REALLY hoping to break that streak with this next move. I’m really really REALLY tired of packing and schlepping.

Anyway, there you have it – our big news. And possibly the sweetest thing of all? That I don’t have to stress about keeping a show-worthy house while in the midst of finishing up homeschooling AND packing. That is indeed a blessing.