Bye, J5

As I mentioned the other day, J5 has been a particularly difficult placement for us. And I feel tremendously guilty even saying that about a 5yo boy, but there you have it. 85% sweet really moves down to 25% sweet when the 15% HARD hits. And it did hit at least once every day he was here. And my heart goes out to him – he’s been through some tough stuff and he really needs counseling and he needs Jesus and he needs to be somewhere he trusts and with someone who is trustworthy.

I was told last Friday he would picked up later that day, but then he never was. And then I told the case workers he really needed to be placed into his long-term scenario QUICKLY because this just wasn’t working out anymore and I felt horrid for even saying that, but there you have it. And then today, I was folding laundry and begging God to put J5 on DHS’s radar today and before my prayer was even finished I got a phone call that he would be picked up today. Again, I didn’t say anything until I was really sure. And I finally did and I told him where he was going and his face lit up in a way I haven’t really seen since he’s been with us. He was a motivated boy. We packed him up and played blocks together an waited in anticipation. And when the case worker arrived he ran to the door. He let me put a coat on him. He let me pick him up and give him a hug. And then he grabbed his bag and walked out without looking back.

And all I can do is be relieved that he’s going where he’s going and hope with all my heart he really is going there. Because if they are taking him someplace else instead, then the boy will never trust anybody ever again.

Please, Lord, keep a watch over J5’s heart and bring restoration to his tender, broken heart. Please.

4 thoughts on “Bye, J5

  1. Kara says:

    This was your first placement, wasn’t it? How did the girls do with him leaving? It seems like it was a bit quick and abrupt. I imagine they prepared you for that. Praying for you all as you process it today. I imagine there are conflicting feeling. Relief, guilt for the relief, sadness. I cannot imagine. Praying for grace to show up and enter all those spaces for your entire family as you faithfully serve the little hurting hearts in your community. God bless you Megan!

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    • Megan says:

      J5 was our third placement. E3 left us 2 weeks ago and we still have Baby M, probably only for one more week, though. That one is going to kill me because…I’m completely attached to that baby now.

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