It’s done. I submitted my final exam for Spiritual and Ministry Formation no less than three minutes ago. Whew. And I want to go on record as saying two things: 1. I apologize and ask forgiveness from everyone to whom I’ve complained about this class. It hasn’t been my favorite, but that doesn’t give me the right to be disrespectful in the way I speak of it to others. I humbly apologize. 2. I didn’t ace the final. I knew I wouldn’t before I took it, but I also knew that no amount of futher studying would make me understand the concepts any more than I know them now, so I accepted that. I do accept it. I will not make an “A” in this class and I am okay with that. I certainly know more now than I did in August and *that* is the point, right?

I was talking to a friend this morning who is watching the girls for me while I’m here at the library and she was saying that that is the reason she audits instead of takes for credit – that the pressure to get the “A” is too great and she just wants the knowledge, so she doesn’t stress herself out with the grade. I think that is great. I would do that too if I thought I would follow through with learning the class content. But the truth is that if I were not being graded, I would not follow through. I’m a slave to deadlines and “have to” things. If I knew I were not being graded on my readings, I would not get it all read. If I knew I were not being tested on the information, I would listen, but it would fly right in one ear and right out the other because I have no vested interest in retaining the information.

And this is what I keep reminding myself each time that thought comes into my head saying, “You know – you are choosing to do this. You don’t have to do this.” 🙂

So that feels good. Let the Christmas break begin! Oh, I guess we can’t until Craig takes it. And he can’t until he stops throwing up. Yes, he woke up this morning prepared to come to the library with me and take the test at the same time, but alas – he is in bed with various trips to empty his stomach out. He still has this test to take and has to take it no later than tomorrow night, so if you think to pray for him please do. And, according to my Spiritual and Ministry Formation class, please pray for him in Jesus’ name.